JULY???

[desiresdd17]

 

Wait, it's July already?

It is indeed a shock that it's July. Even with the pandemic raging, the months are still flying fast.

With so much happening in the past couple of months, it's hard to stay focused. Between the virus, protests, and the current administration making a complete mockery out of this country, you can't help but be overwhelmed.

Well, at least I am.

Because of this writing has been like pulling teeth. I managed to get my KPOP book done. and the co-authored book released. I dropped my dark MM romance project, Atticus in favor of my own solo dark romance book which is the 3rd book in Deadly Sin series that includes Portrait of a Black Heart and Love Kills. And now I'm working on the Tentacle book entitled Love at First Clutch. Crush has been doing so well that readers asks for a follow-up, so I added it. Hopefully I can get it out by early August! 

In my last post I talked about struggling to find motivation. While detaching myself from the world helps, its been a long time since I've been able to completely close myself away from the world outside my home. I wish I could get there again just to retain some normalcy, but I can't. 

The questions loom about when the US virus numbers will slow, and then there's the worries about sending my 7th grader to school. I just asked her if she was afraid of going back and she said no. How is it she has no fear and I do? I suppose its the ignorance, innocence, naivety of being a kid.

Boy do I wish I had that.

Now, I'm not saying she's completely naive. I've tried to keep her abreast about Black Lives Matter and knowing more of her history as well as racial inequality, but otherwise she's in her own world of Roblox, KPOP, and friends.

I want to do the same, but its nearly impossible. KPOP does help to keep me upbeat, but music has always done that. What I'm fighting is, getting into a malaise. The numbness where you can't feel anything outside of your escape.

When I get into a writing groove, I can lose myself in those words, but then I stop and check FB, the corona numbers, then I might watch a news report or two which always makes my blood pressure go up. I told my BFF last night that news didn't really interest me before because it was nothing but bad stuff. Gosh, I wish we had pre-corona day worries. If it wasn't enough worrying about being black in America, there's walking the streets of Chicago and then the COVID fallout.

Thankfully writing isn't how I make a living so I can slack off when there's no pre-order pressure. 

Oh gosh, where was I... yes writing. 

Sorry I had to get those feelings out because I feel as though this is the best way to articulate my thoughts. I haven't really said much of this to my own husband, because he's almost robotic, and wont allow much to phase him. So, other than BFF, this is how i share my concerns and fears. Putting them here for all to see if they want to. I hope I didn't bore you too much with that. If I made your anxieties ramp up, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. 

Again, back to writing. 

So, I'm working the tentacles. Soon, me and my co-author will be writing book two of my series. Then there is the Bound by Blood (Deadly Sin) book and my rockstar group project at the end of the year. I'll also have 3 audios this year. Love Kills in a matter of weeks, Breakable Faith, and then Bound by Blood since I contracted the same narrator for Love Kills. I still have my abandoned books but I hope to get at least 2 out before the end of the year. 

Wish me luck on all of this and stay safe!

Thanks so much for listening